I read a quote the other day. It was intended as a response to the experience of human suffering. But as I meditated on it, I realized it had broader implications for many challenging experiences … from the unbearable loss we feel at the death of a loved one, to the failure and hopelessness than can invade our being when we are out of work or facing a failed marriage. The quote was:

“Suffering is like a pile of rocks. You can choose to carry the load, throw them at someone, just let them lay there, or you can build an altar.”

Taken in its four phases, this quote sheds light on a number of things. First, choosing to “carry the load.”

We all have burdens to carry. But we need not carry them alone. When I have been asked what I believe is the purpose for life, I have replied “to be there for each other.” I believe that the purpose of our existence is as simple and as profound as that. God made us in love and has called us to love each other. So never think you must carry your burdens alone. We were made for each other.

Second, choosing to “throw them at someone.”

To me, the only thing worse than carrying burdens alone is to use burdens as weapons. Justifying the abuse of others because we ourselves have been treated badly only perpetuates abuse . . . it does nothing to bring healing to our world.

And, of course, just letting them “lay there” means to give up. J. Philip Newell, in his book, Listening for the Heartbeat of God talks about an understanding in Celtic spirituality of the inherent goodness of creation and the conviction that humanity bears within itself the image of God. If that is true then ignoring your burdens is to ignore the sacred in you that can relieve them. Burdens are then left to fester and infect the rest of your life. In essence you deny the depth of God’s love in you.

There is, however, another way. It is a way that the fourth phrase calls us to . . . to build an altar with our burdens. That is to say that we have a choice in life to block out God or to welcome God in. The author, professor and political activist Elie Wiesel, who survived the Holocaust, speaks eloquently of how his struggles shaped who he is. Elie Wiesel could have let the horrors of his life define who he was to become. He could have let those stones form a statue that would be left at the end of his life. Instead, Mr. Wiesel chose to use those stones to build an altar. In the process, he built a life that stands for peace in the face of war . . . love in the face of hatred . . . and life in the face of death.

My prayer for us all this holiday season is that we will take all the experiences we have been given in life and use them, as Elie Wiesel has done, for good.

Happy Holidays,

— Father Chip

“Pray and work to alleviate extreme poverty”

— The Rev. Chip Barker Larrimore Rector, St. Peter’s Episcopal Church Redwood City, CA http://www.stpetersrwc.org